


Starting Over

by barush



Category: Linkin Park
Genre: Grief/Mourning, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-10
Updated: 2012-03-10
Packaged: 2017-11-01 18:15:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/359790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/barush/pseuds/barush
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's been a year and Chester's trying to move on after a sudden loss of a loved one.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Starting Over

A strong wind was blowing, mercilessly destroying his carefully made hair. His feet were lazily playing with the sand, picking up tiny brown stones with his toes and dropping them back again, left to their own destiny. A salty smell was invading his nostrils, making his nose twitch from the unpleasant feeling and forcing him to sneeze a few times.

He loved winter at the sea. Partly because he just adored the little waves forming on the endless blue mass of water, bathing his feet in cold tide and watching the dark depths swallow the Sun when dusk was embracing his world, partly because he associated this time of a year and this particular place with them. The two of them together at the sea. For past five winters, precise as a Swiss watch, the same place at the same time.

Wandering around the beach, their beach, Chester thought five years back, one thousand eight hundred and twenty-six days ago, when one single word had changed his whole life. It was that simple, really, a monosyllable word had started precisely four whole years of pure bliss, happiness, passion and love. Everything he had ever longed for had been delivered to him in a handsome package by that one simple movement of lips.

What they had had for all this long time was perfect. Without any exaggeration. The match from Heaven, everyone would have said. One had completed the other, two souls in one body, whatever you want to call it; it had been the two of them. Enjoying life to the fullest had been their second nature. No turning back, no looking forward, living in the present to the last breath we take, that had been their motto and they had lived up to it, literally .

Everything Chester had ever longed for had been stolen from him by one desperate gasp that hadn’t lasted more than few seconds though. A year ago, three hundred and sixty-five days to be precise, his love had clutched his chest, gasped, and collapsed in Chester’s arms. In the same place his happiness so cheerfully had begun, it had so abruptly ended. In the place he was standing now, overlooking the sea, salty tears cascading down his face.

Heart attack at thirty was very rare but not impossible, they had said. Yes, he was completely healthy. No, we don’t know why. Things like that just happen, Sir. No, he didn’t suffer, it was quick.

Chester knew exactly how quick it had been. He had been right there when the light of his life had died down forever. His last breath, his last pleading look, no time for last words. All that had happened so fast, so unexpectedly, with no chance of a goodbye kiss. But Chester had known for a long time that life wasn’t fair to anybody, least to him, so nobody had to tell him there certainly were worse ways to pass away than in the arms of your beloved husband, on your fourth anniversary and in the place you loved the most in the world.

Nevertheless, that certainly hadn’t helped him overcome the grief he had felt so deep in his pained heart. It had felt like somebody had ripped his still beating heart from his chest, sliced half of it away and put it back in. It had been pounding away but missing every other beat. Missing the most important part of itself, the part worth living.

For a one long year, the life had been a living Hell for Chester. No matter what anyone had said, he couldn’t have shaken off the feeling of a missing limb. Part of him had been gone forever and only now, after twelve painful, heart-wrenching months, he had started to come to terms with it. He had never known that acceptance could have hurt so much.

The silver, blistering ring on the ring finger of his left hand felt heavier than ever. Heavy with memories, happy days, shared feeling of love. Also a constant reminder of pain, despair and emptiness. Same as the sea, the beach and winter. Those he couldn’t get rid of, they would still be there, reminding him of how much he had had and how much more he had lost forever. However, the ring, this he could let go. It would be the first step in moving on which Chester really didn’t want to do but deep down he knew he had to for he couldn’t carry on like that anymore.

It used to be the symbol of their love and now it would be the symbol of his loss. Slowly, Chester slid the silver badge off his finger and brought it to his wet, salty lips. One last kiss, one last look and the ring was gone. The symbol of the loss lost in the depths of the sea, leaving him only with memories.

Red rays of the fading Sun was hitting the waves and made the silver object blister within the mass of water. The little writing etched to the inside of it couldn’t be seen by a human eye anymore but Chester knew what it was. How could he ever forget? Brad & Chester Forever Until Death Us Do Part.

Tears wetting his face, Chester turned his back to the sea and made his way back towards his car. As much as it did hurt, it was time to finally move on. Brad would have wanted it like that, he was sure, but still, Chester didn’t know how much longer he could last until he joined the love of his life again. Days? Months? Years? He couldn’t tell, but one thing he did know. At the end of his days, his life would start all over again and then the two of them would be together forever. Chester couldn’t wait to welcome death at his front door.

 

 

_Why don't we take off alone_

_Take a trip somewhere far, far away_

_We'll be together all alone again_

_Like we used to in the early days_

_Well, well, well darling_

_-Starting Over, John Lennon_


End file.
